by jingo!

allie and i figured out while chatting tonight.

carnality.

men, but not just men, many women too put there "human-ness" before their faith.

i think that is the flaw. since i was talking about men before, i'll continue my train of thought.

many Christian men don't act very Christ-like towards women, because they see themselves as men first, and Believers second.

the tension comes because of this. and so you have men who know what is righteous, but actually hope that the women they are involved with will indulge in "a little peril" (to quote Monty Python) nonetheless.

a man who would belittle right living by living on the razor's edge seems lacking in prudence and spiritual maturity.

i think youth is the time to learn to practice self-restraint and discipline. i believe that the sort of man or woman you are in your 20s directly affects what sort of person you will be when the costs are higher.

if we're already toeing the lines, rationalizing wrong, making excuses for our sloth and our excess, and compromising.....then Christ have mercy.

i'm sorry. i've been thinking about a lot of this lately. to sum it up: i don't want to settle. i don't want to negotiate on the things i've always believed to be correct and true. I want to have hope in God's best for my life, and I don't want to be jaded and worn out by the ruin and corruption that i've seen and experienced.

i want my hope back. my hope in a Godly man who will honor and protect and cherish. who will seek God for his future in every aspect, who lives life fully, and is not afraid of surrendering his self-will to Christ and loving me. I want to be able to respect and honor someone. and not second-guess or mistrust them or their motives. and if that person doesn't come, I want to not give up hope that they exist, but be full of peace and gratitude for a life that was lived rightly.

haha. this is what happens when Allie and I get together.