Candid Ahead!

there's your warning.

Today is good. we need the rain, and it's coming down. i'm almost done with my diagnostic board exam. tomorrow is the last stretch of work before a restful weekend and facing the music on monday.

i'm feeling better about the future: like where i want to potentially go.
after the boards i've got quite a bit to do, but it'll get done. and then i've got my glorious vacation to look forward to.

i'm also feeling better about the whole relationship thing. i feel free. for the first time in a little bit.
It's going to work out and something wonderful is ahead. wherever and whenever that actually is. in the mean time, i'm going to enjoy everything as it comes.

my friend trent tells me that i'm the sort that will be ready whenever "it" comes. so that's encouraging.

men are strange indeed however. i have a feeling that many guys overcomplicate what committment means. for lots of women it isn't about merely getting a ring and planning for marriage. it is the decision to commit to being committed. (hope that is not super redundant).
it's a bit sad. they freak out on the few of us that are independent, non-clingy, confident, and self-respecting and exchange us for the dumb, vapid, cheap types that have not much to offer, except for maybe awe that a guy is talking to them and...well....things that aren't classy to write.

at the end of it all, I think i'm being reminded that I really don't have a problem. going after the easy and stupid gets old at some point....and I don't think i'll be available when that phase wears off.

CLARIFICATION: if that sounded angry, bitter, or jaded, it isn't at all actually. it's just sort of matter-of-fact.