sometimes all you can do is hope

so this is not a sad blog, i am stealing a poem from a friend's blog and then I have a few things to say.

FOR A NEW BEGINNING

In out-of-the-way places of the heart,
Where your thoughts never think to wander,
This beginning has been quietly forming,
Waiting until you were ready to emerge.

For a long time it has watched your desire,
Feeling the emptiness growing inside you,
Noticing how you willed yourself on,
Still unable to leave what you had outgrown.

It watched you play with the seduction of safety
And the grey promises that sameness whispered,
Heard the waves of turmoil rise and relent,
Wondered would you always live like this.

Then the delight, when your courage kindled,
And out you stepped onto new ground,
Your eyes young again with energy and dream,
A path of plenitude opening before you.

Though your destination is not yet clear
You can trust the promise of this opening;
Unfurl yourself into the grace of beginning
That is at one with your life’s desire.

Awaken your spirit to adventure;
Hold nothing back, learn to find ease in risk;
Soon you will be home in a new rhythm
For your soul senses the world that awaits you.

That's how I feel as I finish up the last exams of medical school, and start senior year. it's also how i feel newly detached from what I thought could be something that wasn't going anywhere (or at least, would change some,but not END).

I don't know what the future holds in any sense of the word...except for an MD degree. but I hope to
1. end up at a residency that feels like home
2. and share life with someone one day again, this time for good

I have thought of a few things I want in that last bullet.

a) someone who believes i'm worth fighting for, worth swallowing their ego for when necessary, and who treasures me and my contribution to their life

well i said things, when i think i just meant "thing."