Change is Afoot

More than I can discuss in a public arena, change is spinning out of control.

I was driving to the hospital this morning and realized that this is the start of the last summer I am going to spend in Nashville. Overwhelming.

I've been here for going on eight years. I've grown up here. quite a bit.

The person who moved into Stapleton House at Vandy in 2001 is not the same person by a long shot.

I think it's a good thing. Brock asked me over a most wonderful birthday dinner last week what I had learned in my quarter of a century of life. I think I'll share a few here:

1. Life is too short to not do what you love. And to be so self-absorbed that you forget that it is about relationships and others more than anything else.

2. I can only do my best, and trust that the Lord will multiply and bless it. this has been a great source of comfort, as my perfectionist tendencies have decreased tremendously over these 7 years.

3. Wait on the Lord. and enjoy where I am. yep. the great things that have occurred have needed absolutely no extra manipulation from me.

4. Grace is scandalous. and such a gift. I have realized God's gift to me, and in part try to give it to others. I've had a lot of opportunities to face the ugly judgmental rigid parts of myself and lay them at the cross. I hope to not pick them up again.

5. I'm broken, and that's okay. I've always dealt with internal issues that most people know nothing about, and have maintained a pretty squeaky-clean exterior. that's allowed for self-righteousness to burrow itself into my life. i'm just relieved to be faced with myself so i can deal with it.

6. my parents are not always right. i've always been the good kid. seen everything as black and white. the opposite of rebellious. i'm not a kid anymore. there is a definite spectrum of grey. i've got to choose things for myself. i've got to discern God's plan for my life.

a few lessons learned.

life is something indeed. probably won't figure it out.

but i'm okay with that now.