it's been a long time coming

and there will most likely be more gaps in my writing because i'm not as much a creature of habit, as i like to think i am.

for example, i don't capitalize "i" or the starts of sentences, unless i know it's for a nice email, or i'm feeling up to it.

i am not good at taking my vitamins daily. i forget to touch my toes every morning when i wake up or before i go to bed. i can become quite bad at things that must be done on a daily basis, world without end, amen.

i know this. how to make it better? well, i guess it's just the small victories. and i'm going to start putting things on my night stand to urge me to remember.

anyway, i'm in tupelo. it has been a nice, but busy little jaunt home. seeing old friends, packing up stuff that i've left at my parents' house for the past 8 years, and chatting with the family.

i honestly cannot believe the time is flying, and in no time, i'll be moving. a month from today, i'll be at my last service at Redeemer. and a month from tomorrow, i'll be on the 13 hr drive to Philadelphia.

i haven't had a good cry yet. I don't know when it will happen.

i do however feel it. the disengage. people getting weird on me and acting like we're not really good friends, telling me that they're doing "just fine!" when everyone knows that is not the case. being out of the loop of birthdays and various other things that are celebrated. feeling a bit like a stranger in the place i've called home for longer than some of you who read this blog have.

then there are just the realities of not being able to make plans for this or that thing in June....because i'll be gone by then.

it's fascinating. i'm not really hurt by any of it. now. but i've taken note. it's the way the world works. life keeps spinning along without you. and everyone is not good at goodbyes.

there is so much to do before i leave. so when I get back to nashville, i'll have my hands full. oh well, i'll just do it a little at a time.

in the mean time, i plan on enjoying the people who allow me to do so. and basking in the reality of a dream realized that God had set forth before I even knew what a stethoscope was. crazy? possibly. amazing? of course. terrifying? depends on what day you ask me.